I write software, bake things, and live in KCMO
There was a walnut tree growing in a planter. I can tell because the root was attached to a walnut.
I left it on the concrete and a squirrel grabbed the walnut within a day.
I just practiced roller hockey in front of a midwest sunset and it was kind of amazing. Now I need a snow cone and an allowance and a deck of magic cards to really lean into this 14 year old self persona.
The hottest pool accessory this summer is a mullet.
Hello I am "MTV Classic appeals to me" years old.
Me, sobbing: you can’t just keep revealing every character to be a sociopath
Killing Eve: also this new character is a sociopath.
A tour bus unloaded a group of senior citizens at the Trader Joe’s today. I don’t want to be curmudgeonly but I will say that it changed the shopping experience.
I’m doing laundry which is how I noticed that I 100% wore a pair of pants all day with the tag on.
I wonder how much money I would have saved if I bought bowling shoes as soon as my feet stopped growing.
Look out birbs this tree is scary
Wow this is bad
Yo how do I get tax breaks for working in Missouri? GM just got 2,700 per job per year when they threatened to cut all the jobs instead of half. I telecommute.
Kansas City: why do you stop ten feet behind the next car at red lights? One of these days I’m going to back into that spot you’re leaving.
If you ever want to know how out of touch corporate executives are, just look at Delta.
I painted a fence the other day and now I have a new relationship with Tom Sawyer.
I got a promotion.
Question: am I already living in a world where I can say “hey Siri send toot”?
I don’t know what prompted them to plant a fuck your tree by the park
If I’m lucky these are all going to turn into delicious sweet cherries.
I think I saw Diana Kander at lunch and get this: she was eating lunch too!!
Hey Kansas City, be friendly!