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I was playing roller hockey and it got logged as a walk complete with gps so here’s where I skated I guess

Really excited about the iOS 13 feature that makes it look like you’re staring at the camera when you’re looking at the screen!

hey hey the city RT bots are back, for those of you who really missed them...

“Sorry to bother you guys, however [daughters friend] has been worried about [daughter] lately because she has not seen her on roblox and wanted me to check in with you guys to make sure that she is OK?”

An actual text I received today.

jamesior boosted

Who should I follow for random interesting things, low shitpost and mostly posting in english (like 60%)?

You can reply with yourself.
Boost ok

The empire has a shield generator positioned on the forest moon Endor

wow what a nice shiny mastodon version 2.9.2 we have here you all must have a really kind and benevolent sysadmin-is person I guess cool

Soy, almond, cashew, oat, hazelnut, macadamia all these options for new non-dairy beverages. I’m just gonna come out and call it now, Peanut Milk is the next big thing.

Who wants to play roller hockey? Just ignore the two smashed corona bottles on the west half.

What kind of liar buys a ten pack of cards get say “with deepest sympathy”?

What savage leaves a bag of frozen shrimp on the grocery store shelf?

It’s mulberry season in KC, eat them before they drop all over your car

jamesior boosted

I am so ready for these cherries. This is the first year the backyard tree has born a significant amount of fruit and I feel very rewarded.

There was a walnut tree growing in a planter. I can tell because the root was attached to a walnut.

I left it on the concrete and a squirrel grabbed the walnut within a day.

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Mastodon for Kansas City

Hey Kansas City, be friendly!