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The best part of emptying the dishwasher is you get to decide how to load the dishes stacked in the sink!

This toot brought to you by: optimism EXTREME

I enabled a French keyboard on my phone and now whenever I type but it suggests 🥅 which is kind of charming but wow do I type that a lot.

jamesior boosted

I spent basically all of today making a bandcamp/bndcmpr playlist for kansas city music. kansas city has great music! listen to it:

Hello it’s put in shoes to go down to the basement cold.

Thanks kids for bringing up a fresh roll of paper towels I guess.

I just bought a new steel shovel and I am ready to name it. I can scrape down to the concrete in one wide strip. It’s the suburban dad equivalent of pimple popping, so satisfying.

jamesior boosted

remember it's valentine's day weekend so any romantic loneliness you might be feeling will have +3 attack and an additional 20% chance to crit for the next three days

Well here’s the state of the grocery store discount basket. Sorry chiefs.

It is so cold I’m gonna go ice skating outdoors somewhere, but seems like 50% of the articles are just saying never do it there’s no safe way which is probably true for everything ever and not really helpful.

Y’all ever wonder how different French cuisine would be if Kenji Lopez-Alt had been there at the beginning with some basic questions? Like is it really better to peel your mushrooms before you eat them?

Cannot figure out if I love HIIT workouts because the time / payoff ratio is so good or hate them because the time / effort ratio is so difficult.

From now on I am only going to activate the HomePod by saying “baked ziti”.

I’d really like to see a Philadelphia flyers game someday but mostly just to hang out with Gritty.

jamesior boosted

While you were thinking of fan based puns,

I was studying the blade.

Nobody told me fernet branch is the jagermeister of Italy.

jamesior boosted

the other day I was boxing up some music scores we got donated to the library & I learned there are these mini musicals made for kids & all to perform & anyway uhhh... now I wanna write & perform a mini musical??

Hey anyone I know on here playing Splatoon 2 on the switch? I'm trying to friend every player named 'dad' or some variant I see in the hopes of getting an all dad squad going.

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Mastodon for Kansas City

Hey Kansas City, be friendly!